New focus for a New Year

Welcome to my new and improved Blog, "Rocky Road with Nuts". My name is Robin. I have been told from a very young age that I should write a book about my life, and the note-worthy events just don't stop. Some people grow up in one place, go to one school, have a close family, have the same friends; their whole lives. Then, there are people like me.

  I did not live in the same place for the first   year of my life! My father was in the US Navy, and I was born in San Diego, Southern California. After I was born, he was transferred to the recruiting office in Chico, Northern California. My parents didn't want a child, so every move that was made after my birth was against their will, and I accept that. I know how hard it is to be a willing parent, I can not imagine how horrible it must feel to have it forced on you by a sense of obligation.

   When I was in Willow Springs at 15, my father and his mother were called in for family counseling sessions with me. I recall in one session, my father declared adamantly that I had been a planned birth, and that I was very wanted. Even at 15 years old, I was wondering, "Who are you really trying to convince? Who's benefit are you lying for? You aren't making me feel any better, I already know the truth, and my opinion of you is tanked; so, why?"  This is the same man who never believed that I was raped the year before. His words were, "Young lady, don't ruin a young man's life because you made a decision you can't live with." My father and I didn't speak for 16 years, and he has not met my younger two children. Any questions?

   This is why my blog was given its name. I have lived life down a very "rocky road".

I have never been one to take the easy way to anything. I am a trial-n-error, seat-of-my-pants, hangin' on by a thread kinda girl! I am a Jack of all trades - master of none, or some would call me vagabond. I go from place to place, learning new things all the time, I have a difficult personality to pin down (now defined as Borderline Personality Disorder)  which is where the nuts come in.

   On the serious - I have had a tough, but interesting existence. I definitely have chosen the paths less traveled. Members of my family do suffer from mental illness, including me. I fully believe that my mental illnesses are a combination of genetic predispositions and traumatic triggers. I have suffered, and I have survived. I have seen what proper use of medications, healthy, mindful living, and therapy can do when you what it to work. I am beginning Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in January, and beginning this blog is part of my commitment to doing things that I love, because I love them.

I'm 38 years old now. My children are all solidly in their teens and are becoming independent thinkers with plans for their own futures. I am delighted with the people they are becoming. They are rebellious and make stupid mistakes, and I just throw my arms around them and tell them how much like me they are. Then I tell them, "I must now smack you upside the head for your stupidity, my child." They bow their head, I smack them upside it, and tell them the extent of their grounding. We have a clearly defined parent/child relationship with a side of developing friendship. I think we have found  our perfect balance.

   There is so much that I want to talk about that my mind is going faster than my fingers could ever fly, and I am pretty slick on a keyboard! I want to get into politics , finances, religion... all the down and dirty. For now, suffice it to say that I have a lot to write about.